FIRST TIME

FIRST TIME

I was nervous, I was tensed, I was afraid, I was confused, I didn’t know what to do, and I was shy. . . These are some of the phrases you may hear people who encountered a first experience on something, someone or some place. We all have a first time experience on something; it could be a place or an activity. But most people would prefer that I write about a first kiss, which is okay, but that is a story for another day.

I’ve had my fare share of a first time encounter and it’s not any different from other people’s experiences. The complete nervous breakdown, the overwhelming tension and psychotic thoughts, with fear gripping you like a python winding its scaly length all over your trembling body.  The fear is real; we all have encountered it at some point in life. If you haven’t then be patient, your turn is coming. I would have wanted to share a feminine experience but since am a man, I will share a masculine perspective.

We men are natural hunters, and I am not referring to a wildlife hunt of some four legged creature in a forest. We are born hunters of the female species, and trust me, we have spent all our lives trying to figure out ways of making the hunt better and keeping the “game”. Well, unlike the animal hunt, the feminine species is not killed, it’s captured and kept, but not in a cage. And if the care is not properly given, in most cases, it normally bolts out and disappears, leaving the hunter devastated and heartbroken. Talk about being beaten at your own game. But first things first, approaching a woman for the first time has always been a mystery for men. Even the most handsome and poetic men who know how to weave their way through the deepest chambers of a woman’s heart have a first time fear of approaching a woman.

It’s always scary, unimaginable and awkward because it brings in tension and fear. Most of us men dread approaching a woman, especially if your instincts believe that the woman is overtly beautiful. Some of us will gather the little courage we have left and drag it to where the woman is, with an intention of starting a conversation. In my honest opinion, that courage itself never wants to be a part of your miserable failure and pathetic rejection. It disappears when you are a few meters from your target and what happens next? You just pass that lady like you were running a normal errand, regretting and cursing every single step you make after passing her. We all have experienced that scenario and I am willing to bet on that.

We never can explain what transpires, though I must say we men have a very big ego, and as human beings, we have a common fear, the fear of the unknown. We never know if we are going to be given a chance, whether we are going to be rejected, whether insults will be hauled at us, or whether she will kill us. It’s true, most men have even thought of death when approaching a woman, of course she won’t kill you; it’s the fear in you that will kill you. 

Most of us would rather be safe than sorry, and that’s how we end up missing the chance to date the most beautiful girl our eyes have ever captured. A few weeks later, you will end up hearing that she is in a relationship with someone else, and it offends you. It’s true, but how did the other man get her? Of course he didn’t die, she didn’t kill him, she heard him charm his way into her heart. Something you could have effortlessly done by an “excuse me miss” introduction. You are probably wondering what will come next after the excuse me phrase. Americans will tell you to grow some balls and talk. Every man has a conversation starter, and as for me, I would pretend to be lost and ask for directions to a place I already know. Of course, she will be generous and explain. That’s the moment I will let her know that am not looking for direction, of course I’ll let her know I just wanted to start a conversation with her with the hope that she will smile upon realizing my cunning nature.

It’s good to be relevant though and read the moods, not unless you ruin her moods and you end up being killed. Let her know she is beautiful and give compliments on her dressing and make up, ladies love being appreciated. Be a little poetic and avoid being nervous. Ladies will automatically know if you are nervous. Next time you need to approach a lady, multiply your ego and bring in your cool, subtract your arrogance and expand your smile. If she doesn’t accept a first time proposal, please come back and read this article.